I promised myself that I would be truthful in this blog.

I would tell it like it is including the lesser than stellar moments. This week everything went to Hades in a hand basket full of food.

For those of you who don't know in June 2012 I turn 50. Oh-my-God! I decided to make a small change in my life each week during the next nine months on my journey to 50 and blog about it. My goal is to hopefully figure some things out about me, and prove whether little changes do make a difference over time. Right now my focus is on my lifestyle.

It's like a death scene starring Lucille Ball. Sporadic kicks of the legs. The head pops up. An arm twitches. The eyes open. In other words my inner Sumo Wrestler isn't dying easily. It's been a rough week.

I'm really not sure what was the reasoning for it. I don't know whether I reached my limit of things to think about at one time - meaning 7 changes are too much for me to do at once. What will I be like with 39? Maybe it is hormones. Stress - there was a lot of work stress this week. Or a combination of the three. This is all I know. It all fell apart.

Here are the changes I've attempted to incorporate into my life so far.

1. Walk with purpose.
2. Drink 6-8 Glasses of water
3. No cream in my coffee
4. Eat slowly
5. Walk 6 days per week (with intervals - faster walking)
6. No snacking in the evening
7. Portion Control (kill the inner Sumo Wrestler)

I don't think I managed to keep one of those goals this week. I kept finding myself walking like a slug on vacation. I'd get home from work and my water bottle was still full. I even met a friend for coffee and put cream in my french roast. I don't remember my last walk with the dogs. No snacking in the evening was a complete gong show. For example one evening my husband and I had a 'date' night at home. Dinner consisted of a platter of food - Triple Cream brie cheese, Asiago and Artichoke dip, olives, tomatoes, olive oil and balsamic vinegar, breads, red grapes and wine. I ate slowly alright - dinner lasted all evening. There was a fire and a romantic movie. It was really nice, but too much food. Way too much food. And heavy. Oh, I feel sick just thinking about it.

In other words, I blew it. I failed miserably. AND I spent way too much money on food this week. My cupboards were bare and I mean bare, but still - I spent too much.

How do I feel about all of this? Honestly? Pretty lousy. Out of control. A failure. The feeling of peace and contentment that I was enjoying so much has vanished. But I've lived on this earth long enough to know that success comes out of failure as long as you pick yourself back up and keep going. So that is what I am going to do. Pick myself up and keep going.

Today is a new day and Monday is a new week. I was thinking during the week that maybe I should take a week off of adding another change and focus again on the basics to get myself back on track and yet a change whispered in my ear yesterday and again today. So I am going to keep going and add another change for next week.

Week 8 - Chew On This Baby

I'm still eating too fast. When I think about it I'm eating slower than I used to - but still faster than I want to. It's like I'm tapping my foot thinking "Ok, can I take another bite now?" chew, chew, swallow. Gulp some water. Tap, tap, tap goes the foot. Repeat sequence. I read a while back that it is recommended to chew your food 40 times before swallowing. Have you ever tried that? It's ridiculous. The food feels like a version of baby food, and mushy. Horrid.

For example after 40 chews that delicious steak you were enjoying becomes the consistency of pablum with the same flavour. 40 chews is not for me. And to be honest the thought of actually counting the number of chews seems infantile and I am rather mature. So I am going to chew my food until just before it begins to feel revolting.

Apparently there are benefits to chewing your food slowly...

• Releases vital nutrients into your body. I read somewhere - I don't know if its true or not - but it was on the internet so it must be right? Anyways I read somewhere that prisoners in concentration camps used to chew water to release stored minerals - that's how they survived starvation. Whether or not that is true, I have read that your body receives more nutrients from the food you eat when you chew, chew, chew.
• Pre-digests your food - "Yummy" Your stomach has less work to do and you get less gas and indigestion. Let me be clear, I don't get gas! Ahem! But, you know this is good to know, just in case.
• Weight Loss - When you chew, you eat slower and get full on less food, spend less on groceries. What? That's like so up my alley. Although my inner sumo will just think its a longer time to eat - yippee! It's all good!
  
• Helps you taste your food thus making eating more enjoyable - Your taste buds get more time to enjoy every single bite! Yup, until the texture becomes revolting. The trick I think is to stop before that happens.

So, how one chews broth or jello I'm not sure nor am I going try 'cause that's just silly. I will go to my foot tapping method for that one, which isn't silly at all. But if I am eating a sandwich; a salad; an apple - in other words a food with texture - I will chew, chew, chew.

This week will be better ... right? I hope so.

I'm not going to tell any of you whether I own or wear a thong, but I will say this I don't have any ambition of looking like a Sumo Wrestler while wearing one ... that is if I owned one ... or took it out of the drawer ... I'm not telling.

I love food. I think that's pretty apparent by now. (To all two of you) And I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I love food and I'm proud. That's me. That's who I am. I get enjoyment from cooking for others, from celebrating with food, from sitting around the table with my family and devouring a great meal. Why would I want to take that from me? I don't. And that's that.

I also love real food. I am going to fight to the end the whole diet thing. At my age the thought of deprivation isn't that appealing. To be honest, is deprivation appealing at any age? Not really. I don't want to cut entire food groups. Now don't get me wrong - this is about me and not a judgement of anyone who is reading this. If you have to cut out food groups because of allergies or a chosen lifestyle - all power to you. I don't have any allergies that I know of or that affect me greatly so I'm eating it all. I don't want to never have another piece of cake or homemade apple pie again. That is not living for me. I don't want to live on Tofu or grains I've never heard of. I do want to eat good real food that feeds my body and has flavour. Lots of flavour. I like flavour. I like food from all around the world. Italian. Greek. Japanese. Chinese. French (ooh la la). Indian. The list goes on and on. So let it be said - I love food.

This week has been an interesting week for me. This particular 9 month challenge has me looking at myself more closely than I would normally. And you should know, I do not know what my next 'change' is going to be from week to week. I don't have it mapped out. It appears at some point during the week almost as if saying "This is the next one Cayla." I mull over it for a few days until I feel that it is the one for me and then post it here. What am I to do when nothing happens? I haven't got there yet. Maybe I'll be perfect by then. Ha ha ha ha. I honestly don't know. I'll cross that bridge if and when I get to it. My goal though is to be true to me. Not what society thinks I should do, but me.

Last week, if you read my last post, I had a Julie/Julia party. I had such a great time with my girlfriends. I loved it. I was standing there at 1:00am washing wine glasses with this total feeling of peace and contentment. I hate doing dishes,but not that night. I had taken the time to spend it with my friends. I had some girl time. I had done something that was totally me. It felt good. I was in a great place. Then I saw some of the pictures. I was mortified with how I looked. I didn't want to post some of them. All of my friends are thin, and then there is me - Amazon woman. I couldn't believe how big I had become since May. That was at the beginning of the week. I posted the pictures anyways. Saying to myself, this is me. This is who I am right now. But internally I struggled. Then I had an epiphany. My friends, my real friends, think I am beautiful. The way that I am. Right now. Extra lard and all. I was not seeing what they saw. I had a distorted view of myself. They saw their friend. I saw fat. Ego. That is all that is. Ego. I have to look a certain way or I don't somehow matter? Ego. At 49 years old, I'm still learning. I have a big Ego. The big ego that stops me from auditioning for a role because I'm too fat. The big ego that stops me from going to a party or seeing a friend who when they saw me the last time I was thinner. Ego. Not living my life to the fullest. Ego. That has to stop. I finally saw it for what it was. It was my own doing. My own thinking. My own internal dialogue. Done with it... or at least trying.

My friend sent me an e-mail today that made me laugh out loud. I don't believe she reads my blog so that made it even funnier.

The first picture is of Gillian McKeith. Gillain is a well known advocate for a vegan/organic and holistic lifestyle. Complete with cleanses etc.  She is 51.

This is Nigella Lawson. She too is 51. A real woman who eats real food. Butter. Bread. Meat. She is an "hourglass figure with an extra 20 minutes thrown in for good measure". I lover her.

Nigella doesn't eat Ramen noodles. She doesn't eat packaged food. She eats real food. Good food. It shows. She's not deprived. She's healthy and beautiful.  Works for me. I'm sure she wont be found running around in a bikini any time soon. She doesn't look incredibly muscular. But she's drop dead gorgeous isn't she? She is obviously fine with who she is. Suddenly I feel better about myself.

This is me and the picture that mortified me. Since writing this blog I have gained 15 lbs. Fifteen lbs in six weeks! Crazy. That's not counting the ten the two months prior. Now lets be honest here in the last two weeks there was Thanksgiving dinner and then Julia Child night that had more butter in it than I usually have in month. But still fifteen pounds! I actually laughed when I weighed myself. What could be the issue? What has changed? I'm moving more. I'm drinking more water. I cut out the cream in my coffee.

Aha! During the budget challenge I ate way more beans and legumes than normal. They are very calorie dense. I stopped eating lean meats three times a week for a vegetarian/legumes protein rich meal. Also, during the budget challenge I continued to purchase organic yogurt but bought larger tubs as they were less expensive. The only thing is the larger tubs only come in full fat varieties and not the lower fat. So my regular diet has changed substantially because of the budgeting. And I'm still budgeting. Oh dear. Something to ponder. And ponder I will.

No change will happen until you make a change. An extra 15 lb wasn't exactly the change that I was hoping for, but it's OK. I'm here for the long haul and this is a process.

There is one change required that is glaringly apparent to me. You see I have an inner Sumo Wrestler inside me. Her name is Chikaze which means 'crazy chick' in English. My alter ego eats like there is no tomorrow. She is in training for her matches and looks awesome in a diaper, actually that is an awful visual and I should strike that. I can however eat any man under the table particularly at dinner. I just don't have the metabolism to go with it. Let's face it. I come from a family of obese people. It is in my genes. There are things that I do to add to my plumpness, these are not excuses trust me, but my naturally thin friends and family can eat without the huge fluctuations in weight - not me. This is a truth for me and I just need to accept it. My other truth is I do not want to live in a gym. I do not want to weight train as if I was a real wrestler. But really do I need to eat like the Big Show?. There are no men who read this blog so that statement isn't going to come off as cool as it actually is. So what is this Chikaze to do?

Week 7 - Stop feeding my inner Sumo

My challenge this week is to eat like a normal person. A woman who is 5'8". Not a bird. Not a diet. Not deprived. But normal. A serving. There is nobody who is going to come to my fridge and steal my food. I will be able to sit down and eat at the next meal. As a matter of fact I can make myself something to eat any time I am hungry - except the evening munchies as that is change number 6. I won't deprive myself of a thing so I need to let that fear go. Eat a normal portion. Eat it slowly and enjoy it (week 4 don't eat like a lunatic) and move on... and move on with purpose (week 1's change)

There I said it. Portion control. My most dreaded two words.

After all that I'm hungry ... time for lunch.

Oh the shame. For shame. For shame. For shame. How I have fallen the last couple of weeks. For starters my budget is out to lunch, or maybe I should say out to dinner. I am way over budget the last couple of weeks. Now I should point out that last week was Canadian Thanksgiving and this week I had a dinner party. But still - through the roof people. Through the roof. *sigh*

Yesterday was my dinner party and I don't think I drank any water. I was so busy preparing and fussing that I forgot. And then I got into the wine and the wine got into me and ohhhhh, the spring in my step has not shown up today. I wonder why?

I didn't have cream in my coffee, but I had enough butter to last a lifetime in one day - in one meal actually. I can actually feel the arteries clogging.

The only thing I did do was move with purpose. I had a purpose alright - people were coming over to my house! I was sweating I was running around so much. I at least did that.

Now for the success in all of my failures - I had a Julie/Julia party at my place with five girlfriends, my awesome daughter and myself. What a blast.

Here was the concept -

• Dress Code - Pearls and Apron mandatory. Clothes under apron optional.
• Copious amounts of wine to be consumed during the entire evening.
• No boys allowed. (Side note, my hubby couldn't get out of the house fast enough. He was great though. He gave me my evening)

The food - Julia Child's ...

• Chicken Coq Au Vin
• Steamed red potatoes in butter and parsley
• Romaine hearts with Julia's Roquefort dressing
• Chocolate Mousse with Crème Anglaise (Made by moi prior) - that's a whole other blog post.
  

The entertainment ...

• french music playing softly in the background,
  
• watching my friends cook like Julia, and of course
  
• enjoying the movie Julie/Julia after dinner.

Nothing like inviting your friends over and making them work for their dinner. What a brilliant concept if I do say so myself.

I have to tell you how the evening started off though. I was rushing about in my red dress, pearls and heels. Full make up and hair curled. I'm ready to go. I'm running about setting up La Stations with their various items - knives, cutting boards, chicken stock etc. and Molly (my little obnoxious beagle whose going to be in Beagle Stew one day) was sitting on the couch wagging her tail at me. She could sense something exciting was going to happen soon and that usually means food. And food to Molly and me for that matter is exciting. So as I'm rushing about I hear this rather odd sound coming from the couch area. I look up only to see Molly open her mouth and spew fire hydrant force puke all over my couch and floor. It is 4:45 pm my guests are arriving at 5:30 pm. You see, little sweet Molly had been playing outside earlier with the neighbours. I guess she decided to drink the ocean water. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer, our dear sweet Molly. She sprayed ocean water and regular water and other little nuggets like a fire hose. I've never seen anything like it. In one 'spew' from that little body she managed to drench all three sections of the couch, the coffee table, the back of the couch, the pillows and the floor. I just stood there. Looked at Molly who was looking like she had just been caught digging in my laundry basket. Looked at the disaster that was my living room.  Looked at the clock. Then back at Molly. I wondered what  Molly Coq au Vin would taste like. I gulped down 1/2 a glass of wine and yelled "Molly!!!!!" Then I took a deep breath.

There I am, red dress, red heels, red lipstick and I'm pulling puke covered covers off of my couch and running downstairs to the laundry. Do you realize how difficult those cases are to get off under pleasant circumstances? Try it all dressed up. There was no way that I was going to have this laundered and dried before my company arrived. I started to panic. Then I thought "Who was I having over? The Queen? No." They were very dear friends and one acquaintance. They would be able to deal with it with no problem. So I stopped fussing and went to work.

My guests were just fine about it all and just laughed. When the couch was dry they all grabbed a case and stuffed away. It did throw me for a loop though. I don't think I was 'present' for the first hour and a half of the evening.

I set up La Station Une, Deux and Trois. At each station there was a duty to be performed whether it be vegetable prep; browning the chicken (don't crowd the pan girls) or braising pearl onions (I actually found pearl onions - I was so excited). We laughed. Made a lot of mistakes, but I was there to bring them all back in line like the task master I am.  "Read people!" I would say. "Read the damn instructions." Lord.

The second little mishap, besides the girls NOT FOLLOWING THE INSTRUCTIONS, was when we were all sitting in the living room enjoying nibblies and wine waiting for the chicken to bake in the oven whilst the potatoes were steaming away. The buzzer on the oven went off. We all ran to the oven to get a whiff and taste our creation before the next flurry of duties began only to discover the damn oven wasn't on. The oven wasn't on. The oven wasn't on? What???? OMG PEOPLE? I"m telling you La Station Une, you're lucky your good friends and I adore you. I looked at the oven. I looked at Station Une friends. I looked at the clock. I looked at the Coq au Vin. Then back at Station Une friends. Then I took a deep breath. Oven on. Potatoes off. Back to the wine and the gossip.

The third little mishap was when I was (yes it was me this time) straining the finally cooked Coq au Vin into a bowl. My La Station Une girlfriend was using a spoon to get every last bit out of the pot. The pot being a very heavy cast iron dutch oven. I lost my grip. It crashed to the counter. Right on to a wine glass, which of course smashed, along with my spoon rest - never liked it anyways. My girlfriend swore that the glass smashed outward and not upward and there was no worry of broken shards flavouring the Coq au Vin. I looked at the broken glass. I looked at my girlfriend. Would have slapped myself if I had not been holding that blasted pot. I looked at the clock.  Then back at the broken glass. Then I took a deep breath and got back to work. There was sauce to make.

On a side note, my daughter's lovely boyfriend (who was dog sitting downstairs on a Saturday night and got a plate of Julia's food for his efforts) found a big hunk of glass on his chicken. oops. That's what he gets for being a boy at a girl's only party.

Dinner was finally ready. We sat down. Cheers and Bon appetite. We began to eat the fruit of our labour. We became very quiet. The french music was playing softly in the background. The food with all the mishaps was delicious, fabulous actually. The sauce was to die for. Heavenly. We were transported to Paris. It was lovely. I looked at the food. I looked at my friends savouring each bite. I didn't look at the clock. I looked back at the food. I took a deep breath to soak it all in. Then I chowed down.

After our fabulous dinner, and I mean fabulous, we talked. and talked. We are girls after all. I made some 'french roast' coffee and pulled out the dessert. Again it was quiet. Something about chocolate and women. More heaven. We capped the evening off watching Julie/Julia. What a great movie. We all laughed when Julia talked about drying the meat before sauteing (something La Station Une got in trouble for not doing at first) and then again for not crowding the pan (again La Station Une) - truly they should have been on a team with Molly the Beagle.

It was a real girls night out, and the mishaps just added to the evening ... except for maybe the puke, I could have done without the puke.

Now I'm back to my reality. I have fallen off the wagon, actually more like leaped off the wagon - I am crawling back on. I am back on budget damn it! I'm cheap remember? Today I'll get all my water in. Moving with purpose will be an issue, it's already two and I still have slits for eyes, but I'll try. I'll interval tomorrow I mean come on now, lets not be cruel. I have to come up with another small change for next week - let me think ... here it is.

Week 6 - No evening munchies

No snacking in the evening. That one is going to be tough. But it is a bad habit for me, and I'm sure the source of a lot of blossoming. So that's my next challenge and a challenge it shall be. I'll let you know how it goes.

First let me say Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!

Second let me say that I'm sure glad I didn't have a portion control goal in place for this weekend. The turkey was awesome - if I don't say so myself.

Now on to the matter at hand. I personally don't like gyms. If I have a choice of being outside enjoying nature or inside a gym sweating, I'm going to choose nature any day. If given my druthers I'll be outside walking the dogs. Believe me I'm odd. For a couple of years there I walked with Rocks instead of weights. I felt more 'grounded'. Two good sized rocks easy to hold on to and a brisk walk. I must have looked like an idiot. I also walked race horses for a couple of years while I was building my business clientele. I loved it. It paid next to nothing, but I loved it. I love walking. To me it's not exercise. Which is the way that it should be isn't it?

I can remember in my thirties when I was extremely happy (even though my personal life was in turmoil) and oddly enough rather thin. I danced almost every night. I was doing a lot of theatre or singing at the time and we would go out as a cast after almost every performance. We danced, and danced and danced. Gosh it was fun. The word exercise wasn't even in my vocabulary during that time. And I never stepped foot inside a gym. I glowed. I look back on those times with a real fondness. That's what exercise should be - fun. Not work.

I walk almost every day. I'd say at least 6 days a week. I take the dogs for a walk once a day for at least for 35-45 minutes. Sometimes I do it twice a day. I've picked up my pace while walking the dogs as per week one's goal "Walk With Purpose" but I've been walking for years. I also eat like a Sumo Wrestler (something I am going to have to address sooner or later) so thank goodness I at least walk.

Every winter I blossom. You thought blossoming only happened in the Spring and Summer? No, you are mistaken. I begin blossoming in the autumn and don't reach my full plump potential until January. It's quite remarkable actually. If you watch me closely for long enough you'll see me growing right before your eyes. I figure there are three main reasons for this - lack of Vitamin D due to less sunshine, less walking due to shorter days and weather, and eating copious amounts comfort food. I need to tackle this issue. Also, my current walking routine, although enjoyable isn't really doing anything as far as changing my body. My body is obviously used to it. I need to step things up.

One thing I've noticed while "Walking With Purpose" is my heart rate would go up for a few seconds as I would walk briskly up the stairs, or to and from the car etc. I'd be breathing deeply, not panting, and then my heart rate would go back to normal in a few seconds once I was stationary again. I thought "Huh. This is sort of like interval training without interval training." which got me to thinking. If while I was on my walks I sped things up a few times during the walk - my heart rate would speed up for a bit and then go back down once I resumed my regular pace. I could interval train while walking. No extra time commitment and certainly not a lot of work. I can do that.

Week Five - Step up my Stepping Out

So this is rather easy, since I'm already walking. It can be as small as 10 seconds or as much as 1 minute. I'll play it by ear. The thing for me is I don't want it to be like exercise. As soon as I start feeling like I'm at a gym I'll start complaining. But if I make it a game - like how fast can I get to the next sign post, and play with the dogs while I'm doing it then it stays away from being exercise.

Now for the issue of weather and shorter days. My days of getting two walks in one day are numbered. Even daily walks could start having issues. I need to put a goal in place that is going to keep me moving.

I do have a piece of equipment at home. Grr. gym. Its a Gazelle. Don't laugh. An Olympic athlete may not use it. But then an Olympic athlete isn't going to consider a daily walk as exercise either now is she? And the Gazelle is an awful lot like walking, but easier on the joints. I kinda like it. Put on the music and walk away. So I commit to either walking outside or inside on the Gazelle 6 days per week.

Maybe I can keep the winter blossoming to a minimum.

Life can be interesting. Now that is an understatement isn't it?

I've had a discovery over the past week or so. It took me a while to figure out what it was, I'm rather slow that way. But I am feeling more content. The feeling hasn't left. Through minor family issues, hormonal upheavals and work stresses there has been one constant - a feeling of contentment. A feeling of peace.

I've been trying to figure out why all of a sudden this sense of peace and contentment. Nothing on the outward has changed. Life is still basically the same. My husband still can drive me crazy. The workload is the same. What is it? Then it dawned on me. Since writing this blog to the possibly two readers out there (thank you to both of you), I have made changes in my life. Simple changes and I've focused on little things at a time. I am a better steward of my money, thanks to food budgeting and planning my meals each week. And now with this 9 month challenge I am slowly making changes to my personal self. One tiny change at a time. Not everything at once. But one thing at a time. Which means that I can ease up on myself a lot. I only have to focus on those few things. Walking with purpose. Drinking my water. No cream in my coffee. Eating Slowly. That's it. The rest doesn't matter. And I feel content. What a glorious feeling! I'm making positive changes to me so I'm not wallowing in my normal pit of guilt that I should do something about it. I am. I can handle the changes because they are simple and not time consuming. Contentment. How surprising. It's a surprising outcome like the sense of freedom I got from budgeting our food purchases. I like it.

I just wanted to share it with the two of you.

My husband works with race horses. That's one of the many things that attracted me to him. He also has a wry sense of humour, another thing that attracted me to him. He often tells me that if I were a racehorse they'd have to take me out back and shoot me, or at least put me to pasture. Apparently my gait, isn't up to standards. Pffft. I say to that.

One thing I am good at is eatin'. I'm real good at eatin'. And fast too! I may not be a racehorse, but when it comes to eating I'm a Triple Crown winner. Actually we all are. I can slave away at a dinner, set the table nicely, light the candles and put out the fine china. Then we sit down look at each other and dig in. Stainless steel scraping china, forks are shoveling, mouths are bulging like squirrels storing for the winter and nary a word is spoken. All that can be heard is grunts of approval, slurps and smacking lips. No burps. That's rude.

I was thinking about it. I go to all this work to prepare great food for my family and I don't even bother to stop and taste it. I swear dinner takes us 5 minutes max. We're masters at the art of shoveling down our gullets past the speed of sound. Sounds like a good challenge to me.

Week 4 - Don't eat like a lunatic

I've heard about this my whole life, but never paid attention to it. But, now that I'm making these small changes in my life, this seems like a good one to do. There's science behind it too. It apparently takes 20 minutes for your body to register that its full. Twenty minutes? Ha! I'd have to eat dinner a crumb at a time, or eat my meals with chopsticks. it makes sense though. If I stop and actually taste what I've prepared, I may enjoy it even more. Slow down and I may end up eating less. At the very least I'll look more like a lady and less like a trucker.

I have to say though, unlike last week's challenge, (no cream in my coffee) this challenge is going to be ... well ... a challenge. I have been eating this way for at least 47 years. I'm not sure why. It probably has something to do with being the youngest and having to eat quickly before someone else took the food of my plate and ate it themselves. Usually my mom. But meal time shouldn't be a race. It should be enjoyed. I at my breakfast slower this morning. I was still done pretty quickly, but I noticed the salt on the fried potatoes, and their crispiness. They tasted really good. I had fried an egg and put it on a slice of toast that had been topped with some spinach, a tomato slice and Parmesan cheese shavings. When I slowed down I could taste the bite of the Parmesan cheese, and the creaminess of the yolk. It was a rather tasty breakfast. It sounds promising. I love food. Just think how much I'll love it if I actually taste it. What a novel idea.

So that's it. I will try very hard not to eat like a lunatic.

Updates on prior challenges. Walking with purpose is still not a habit. I keep catching myself moving slowly. But as soon as I do, I pick up the pace. I'm sure it will become habit one day. Won't it? The drinking water is going just fine. Thigh ankle ratio update. I read online that one of the causes of swollen legs and water retention was from being in a seated position for a number of hours, causing a lack of circulation. I knew as soon as I read it that that was what was happening with me. So, while working during the day, I challenged myself to get up and walk around for a few seconds on every even hour. It worked like a charm. Within two days my ankles were back to normal. ***happy dance***

No cream in my coffee went just fine. But you should know there is cream in my fridge. I'm making some mushroom soup this week and the recipe called for cream. I did my week three challenge with it sitting right there. Didn't break down once.

There you have it. You are all officially up-to-date. Four challenges down, thirty-eight to go. 

Week 2 of my journey to 50 is nearing a close. 39 weeks to go. 39 more changes. Can I even come up with that many? That remains to be seen. You're gonna have to help me out. I mean really. I'm not that creative. And to prove that, here is my change for next week. Drum roll please - no cream in my coffee.

Week 3 - Creamless

I have been drinking cream in my morning cup of joe since Jesus was in diapers. I enjoy it. It was my one perk. So why stop? Well, this week I ran out of cream. I was actually grumpy the night before. There was no money left in the budget (still budgeting) and now I was going to have to drink my coffee black. Hrmph!

The next morning I made the coffee and took the dogs to the beach. Note: I am very lucky to live on ocean front and try to start every morning soaking up nature, drinking coffee and letting the dogs run around. It's a great way to start any day. So there I was with my travel mug of black coffee and the ocean. I took a sip. Shock registered as it passed my lips and over my tongue and down the gullet. It was good. It was actually rather good. Have I matured? Nah, I doubt it. But it really wasn't that bad. It got me to thinking ....

One of my favorite songs that I sing is "Black Coffee". It only makes sense. I go through one container of organic cream per week. That's got to be a chunk of calories. Week 1's change is to move with purpose. I have to be burning at least 50 more calories per day with that change alone. Put those two changes together and I could lose a pound in like a month! Chuckle, chuckle. But it's true. Another perk of giving up the cream? It saves me about $10 per month. That's $120 per year in cream alone. When I think of it that way it just seems ridiculous to spend that much on my morning coffee. Just think, if I put that $10 into my savings account I'll have enough to go to Mexico for a week by the time I'm 60!

Anyways - all silliness aside. That is my change. It's not going to be difficult as there is no cream in the fridge. I can whine, complain and stomp my feet. It won't magically appear. So this change is rather simple to follow through with. But that's good it gives me a chance to hopefully solidify Week 1 and 2 goals to more of a habit.

Week 1 - Move with purpose update - I still have to think of this one. It's a difficult habit to break. I will still find myself acting sloth like. But there is definite improvement. I have become more inefficient with my movements. I'll bring in two bags of groceries instead of 6 so that I have to make extra trips. I bend down to start up my desktop computer instead of using my big toe. I don't streamline making the bed. I clean the house as if people are coming over in 30 minutes. I try to act like I'm late for something when I'm wandering about. I park far away at the grocery store and hoof it around. I take the dogs for a brisk walk. I try to remember to quickly go up and down the stairs.  I don't wait for my husband to let the cats in. I get up and get them myself. These are positive changes.

Week 2 - Increase water intake - This has been surprisingly easy. Drinking a glass of water first thing in the morning and then giving myself a deadline to have my water bottle (4 glasses) finished - end of the work day - and then water with dinner has been a snap for me to do. I'm usually drinking 2 glasses of water with dinner. My water bottle is being finished earlier and earlier in the day.  I'm having some water in the evening too. I'm probably more like 8-10 glasses of water per day. So, what differences have I noticed? I got a lovely zit on my face. That made me particularly happy. Cause every 49 year old should have a zit on their face. It makes them look younger. My ankles have gone down a bit, I can see the ankle bone. But I'm still retaining water. My shins leave a large indent when you press on them. There must be another culprit. Will have to look into that.

So there you have it. Onwards and upwards. Two weeks down. Thirty-nine to go.

I'm drinking 6-8 glasses of water a day. My eyeballs are floating. Each day I pray I don't sneeze and refuse to do anything which requires exertion or hopping. Like the CIA agent, I enter a room and instantly know where the exits are for my route of escape, except in my case I know exactly where the washroom is.

Actually, I'm exaggerating. It hasn't been that bad at all so far. Mind you it's only day three.

I will tell you what I am finding that's interesting. If you've read earlier posts I said repeatedly that being on the food budget was actually freeing. There was freedom in restraint. I have found yet another freedom. The freedom of one thing, or in this case two things. As you may or may not be aware, I am making little changes in my life that hopefully will add up to big changes over a period of time. In my case the period of time is nine months (which funny enough officially starts tomorrow) until I turn f-f-f-f-fifty. So the first change was moving with purpose or in layman's terms carrying on like a crazy women who is late for everything (which really isn't that far from the truth). The second change was to increase my water intake to 6-8 glasses per day. Now for the freeing part. One day this week I stared to feel guilty for not doing something (you know that feeling? I should of had a salad for lunch, or I should have walked more or ... the list goes on and on). Well, when this feeling came over me a little thought went through my head that said "Actually, no. I don't have to do that. I only have to walk with purpose and drink copious amounts of water." That's it. That knowledge gave me this amazing sense of relief. I only had to concentrate on those two things. Easy. Week 36 when I am listing off 36 things as in a twisted version of 12 days of Christmas, it might be a little different. But I'm hoping by then walking like a crazy broad in a hurry is just part of my general make-up. as well as the knowledge of all the best bathrooms within a 50 mile radius.

I can tell you one funny incident that happened with me this week whilst impersonating the Tasmanian Devil - I was grocery shopping (still budgeting folks) and grabbing my last few items at my main grocery store. I was trying to do things as quickly as possible (walking with purpose) and to get home so that I could finally relax. I zoomed over to the cashier and started to unload my items. After unloading about half of the basket the young cashier guy gave me the "dumb blonde" look. When I screwed up my face as if to say "what?" his eyes gradually slid up to the lit sign above the till and then his look turned into that teenager perfected eye roll. Express 15 items. Oops. Save on Foods and their customer service. Gotta love 'em. He looked at me like I was a complete idiot. We had yet to say one word to each other and yet we had had an entire conversation with looks, glances, eye rolls and smirks. I wanted to slap him. I said to him. "Your look to me was priceless. I didn't realize I was in the express lane. I'll put everything back in my basket." I start reloading the buggy and he sighs a deep heavy sigh. He decides to grace me with his good deed for the decade and allow my 30 items to be pushed through. Understanding that there is no one behind me in the lineup and no one would show up during the entire ordeal. Of course the young stud doesn't know how to pack more than 2 items in a bag as he is an express boy and goes through my 5 cloth bags with only 10 items. I'm now packing my own groceries as penance for my sin.

So, note to self. It's ok to run around and with purpose, but while in grocery store stop and look before going to cashier.

Anyways, that's my update for now.

I retain water. Too much information? Sorry. But, unfortunately for me it's true. My ankles can swell up to the size of my thighs. (I'm laughing as I type - that's quite the visual). I don't consume a lot of salt.  I read the labels remember? And if you've been following my posts I've gotten off the 'can' so to speak. Again too much information? I meant I don't use canned goods as much. And even if I did I almost always purchase salt free. The ingredients being main ingredient and water. Suffice to say I don't think sodium intake is the culprit.

I know that I don't drink enough water. Not consistently anyways. I am famous for being consistently inconsistent. Actually, I'm not famous for anything, but I am, or I should say was consistently inconsistent. I am changing that. So this week's challenge is to :

Week 2 - Drink 6-8 glasses of water per day.

1. Drink one glass of water when I get up.
2. Drink my water bottle (4 glasses) by the time I get home from work. (preferably a little bit at a time throughout the day and not all at once in the car port)
3. Drink at least one glass of water at dinner. This is actually good for your teeth. Did you know that? One of the worst things for your teeth is the acid in the food we eat. Think vinegars. citrus fruits. etc. It can wreak havoc with the enamel on your teeth. Simply drinking water with your meals dilutes or washes away the acidity and therefore protects your teeth. Huh. Learn something new every day.
4. Drink a cup of camomile or other herbal tea in the evening. (I know purists don't consider it 'water', but lord it is pretty darn close isn't it? No caffeine. Little or no taste.)

So, if I do the above I will easily drink enough to reach my goal, without that much hassle. Just think if I serve spicy food for dinner I'll drink even more! Exciting.

What's even better is this works great with my goal from week one "Walk with purpose". I will certainly be adding more movement to my day just by the additional bathroom breaks. And I will for sure be walking with purpose to said bathroom. It's all good.

I will of course let you know what happens as far as my thighs to ankle ratio is concerned. And how easy or difficult it is to keep it up for the week, never mind the long term. And any other changes I may notice along the way.

Bottoms up!

So here I am contemplating little changes to my life and seeing where it takes me on this journey to 50. I have a few ideas to start, and already started one (on the QT).

Week 1 - Move with purpose.

Like Steve Martin I too have a special purpose, it's just nothing like his. I'm just pretending.

Have you ever noticed that people who are overweight (and I am not being mean here because I do it too) move slower? They tend to walk slowly, their general movements are slower. Not a care in the world. "I'll get to it when I get to it" way of movement. I have that attitude. I kinda like it. However, I've noticed that my general overall movement is much slower than it used to be. I also take up more space than I used to.

On the contrary, people who are thin tend to walk rather quickly. Have you noticed that? Go to the grocery store or mall and look, just don't be creepy about it or you might get in trouble. You'll see what I mean. It's not 100%, but it is pretty darn close.  For instance my husband and daughter are both skinny gluttons. (grrr) and they both move quickly. Except when my husband is sitting with a beer, then he slows down to comatose level (except for his elbow bends). Other than that he is a going concern. My daughter is the same way (not the beer part). Me? Not so much lately.

I'm not a scientist, obviously, but it isn't rocket science to see that more movement in your day adds to more calories burned in your day which over a long time means less weight on your body. Don't change anything but that and you will start to lose some weight. It might be slow, like your old movements, but it will happen over time.

My job is very sedentary. My fingers and right wrist are in very good shape thanks to typing on the computer, but other than that  I could use some work. I started to watch myself - that just sounds silly - but I started noticing that my own movement had slowed to a snails pace. I had taken my peaceful way of living to whole new level.  Even when I walk the dogs I meander. So my first change is to move with purpose. I now have a special purpose!

I act. It's not my sedentary job, THAT one pays the bills. Acting is the doesn't pay me that much job that I have. It's also the job that I like the most. Go figure. Anyways, before I go on stage I tell myself to walk with purpose and energy. It reads better on stage. So, I've decided to act during my day. Since walking with purpose is no longer me I'm taking on a character who is in a hurry to go everywhere. Is that psycho? I thought it may make me feel stressed, but on the contrary it didn't. I had more energy and actually got more done this week. I made myself go up the stairs faster than I would normally do. When I'm in the kitchen cooking, my pace between the stove and the fridge is much quicker. I walk to the car at a brisk pace. I squat down and pick something off the floor, and not use my toes like a monkey. I am just moving quicker. Sometimes I forget, but I definitely noticed a difference. I was never huffing or puffing I just increased my speed. Anyone can do that.

So that is my small change for this week. I will incorporate this change into my daily routine until I no longer have to play a character, and it becomes a part of me.

I'm changing the quote "My journey to 50 begins with a quick step." I like it.

Next week - a friend has suggested meditating. Thank you Wendy! That one is gonna be tough and I wouldn't have thought of it. I'm going to do some research and I'll get back to you on that one. Keep the ideas coming. I love it!